Given A Choice

i believe in life, we have choices. Sometimes we are faced with a right option and a wrong option, and have to chose between them. But sometimes we are faced with choices that are merely different. Neither is better or worse, they just lead to different futures, different consequences.

A little over a year ago i was given a choice. If i accepted this offer i would have to uproot my entire life. If i decided to decline the offer, i would lose my best friend, and a promising future would forever be out of reach. It was a life changing decision, one most people make (hopefully) only once in their lifetime. No matter what i decided, i would lose something. Would what i gained be worth the price? At first i thought it would be, but as time went on, i decided i wasn't ready.

i said no.

i sometimes wonder what would have happened... what my life would be like if i had accepted. i know what i gained by my choice: i had the opportunity to be in a choir, i met some amazing people, and now count them among my best friends. i found a great church, perfectly suited for me. i went to an awesome summer camp, went on a missions trip, grew closer to my siblings. i got to see my sister accept Christ as her Savior, if i hadn't been here that might not have even happened. i grew and changed as a person, in ways I'm sure i wouldn't have if i had chosen the other path.


But what did i give up by saying no? It's maddening to not know, to be ever wondering 'what if?' i know i would be living somewhere else, i would be working, and i would be in college. But what else? Where would that path have taken me? What could have been?

i believe i ultimately made the best decision. i wasn't ready yet for the future the other path offered. i hope i will be someday, but I'm not right now. Yet, i still wonder..... what if?