Silent Praise

There's a lot of music at Camp David. The staff go around randomly singing praise songs, pop songs, musicals, pretty much anything. That's what usually happens when you get a lot of teens together, so this is no surprise. What is really surprising and also really cool is something that happens during the worship service that happens before each meal & during chapel. A lot of these kids have learned some of the sign language to the praise songs. It's so incradible to watch, cause they will be singing with all thier heart, eyes closed and swaying in time with the music, and thier hands will be flying, signing the words they're singing. It's a whole new level of praise i didn't even know about. It's incredible to witness, and the little that i learned in three weeks amazes me still. It's so fantastic that i can not only sing with my voice, but also with my hands. It's a silent praise that i long to learn more of. i know it'll be a lolt of hard work but i know it'll be beyond worth it in the end.
                                                        

Taste

The question of taste has come up several times in my presence... Mostly cause i like to mix things that wouldn't normally be together. Like cameo & plaid. Or pink & red. Or suede and silk. Anyway i heard something today that a favorite designer (love ya Kayne!) said: "We both have taste, hon, but yours is vanilla and mine is rocky road." i love this! Just because i like things that are different than what you, or even a lot of people like, doesn't mean I'm wrong. It just means i like things that are a little different. I'm not rocky road, I'm not really sure what flavor i am yet but I'll figure it out eventually.

EZ Guy

So i just found out that a friend of mine has a MySpace Music page... And that he's an amazing singer! So ya'll have to check it out! i'm particularly partial to Super Human cause we sang it at a party at Camp David during staff training week. Anyway, he's really good so ya'll should go listen to his music! http://www.myspace.com/565756135

My Truck Isn't Perfect?

Today i made a discovery. My truck is a piece of junk. i honestly didn't realize this till today. Ok, here's how it went down: i asked my lil bro to help me add oil and coolant to my truck. No big deal right? Well there's a little trick to getting the hood open, that was my first clue. i, of course knew how to open it, but my brother didn't. Then after we finished i went to throw away the bottles and Joe went to start the truck. When i got back he said:
"There's something really wrong with your truck."
Me *looking confused* "What's wrong? It was working fine a little while ago."
Joe: "It won't start."
Me: "How did you try to start it?"
Joe: "I turned the key...." *gives me a weird look*
Me: "Oh was that all? Yea that won't start it. You have to..." And then i go into this whole speech about how to start my truck. At the end of it Joe looks at me and says: "You're truck is a piece of junk. It shouldn't be that complicated just to start it."
i think he may be right..... And i didn't even get a chance to tell him about the seat-belts, or the gas pedal, or the speedometer...

Starts With Goodbye

Sometimes the best parts of life start with goodbye. i believe this. If i hadn't said goodbye to different people, situations, and places in my life, then i wouldn't be here. i wouldn't have some of the things/memories/people i value most. Saying goodbye is a part of life. It's a part i don't like most of the time, but it's necessary to grow and change. i want to change this summer, i want to change my self, change my surroundings, change my life. And that means i'm gonna have to say goodbye to some things.
Things like my job. i like my boss, and there are things i like about my job, but i'm not moving forward in the company. There's no where to go, really, in a family-owned business... when you're not part of the family. And that's ok, this job has been good for me, i've learned a lot. But it's time for me to move on.
Another thing i'm gonna have to say goodbye to is my family, in some ways. i'm going to move out. i won't be around to help them as much as i do now. i think spending so many weeks at camp this summer will help them get used to it. i'll be home most weekends and afew scattered weeks, so i'm not completely gone yet, but this gives them time to get used to it before i disappear of the face of earth... Or move to the other side of town ;)
i'm also having to say goodbye to a lot of people, weather they're moving away or we're just growing apart, i have to say goodbye. i miss them already... But i know we're not meant to be amazing friends, or at least not anymore. Most not ever, tho heaven knows we tried! And the ones that i was close too, well we've grown apart. We're not who we were, and we're not really on the same page anymore. i cherish my memories and photos, i'll always remember them, but we can't really share life like we used too. We grew up in different ways, into different futures. It's sad, but that's how life is sometimes.
Saying goodbye isn't something i enjoy, but sometimes it's the starting point of a better future. i hate to say goodbye to all this, but i have a pretty incredible future ahead of me if i just leave parts of this life behind.
It comes down to a choice.... i'm choosing this new life, and whatever it brings with it.

CDO I

CDO is Camp David of the Ozarks, in Rolla, Missouri. It's a christian camp run by volunteers that ministers to the children of prisoners. I'll be volunteering at this camp for 5 weeks this summer, plus staff training. I've completed the training and one week of camp, there's so much I've learned, seen, experienced, thought about. People have asked me "How was camp?" Or "Did you have a good time at camp?" Or "What was camp like?" i don't know how to answer these questions. If i tell everything i want to, I'll be talking for hours. But if i say "Oh it was great!" that doesn't really tell them anything other than i enjoyed it. So how do i tell people about all the really amazing (and the not-so-amazing) things i experienced? Well I'll write about it, of course. It will prolly be months before I've processed everything, and i will write about it all, but it'll be in little articles here and there. So keep looking for more posts about camp!

Homecoming

i got home from work today and was promptly attacked by my dog, Teddy. Apparently he missed me ;) i've spent the past three weeks working at Camp David of the Ozarks, working, or working at my church camp. So i've only been home a couple of times to do laundry and pick up some stuff. i've hardly seen my puppy in weeks and i really missed him! Anyway, i get out of my truck and Teddy comes running up to me... And the next thing i know i'm flat on my back with im sitting on top of me licking my face. He's only about 25 pounds, i want to know how he did that?! It was awfully sweet tho! i played with him for quite a while, and he's followed me around all night, it's so cute. i feel so bad cause i have to leave the poor little guy alone again next week. Poor Teddy. Oh well, when i move out he'll have a nice backyard to play in and i'll be able to spend more time with him :) He's just gotta hang on till October.
i love my puppy!

Perspective

It's funny how one phone conversation can change your mind. i've talked about maybe spending a few months living in another state, just for fun. While i still think it'd be fun, it would also be kinda pointless. Really, my idea has no purpose other than it sound fun. That's a pretty stupid reason for leaving your entire life behind. Anyway, i was talking to a girlfriend (the one i'm planning on moving in with in the fall) and i realized that i'm way more excited about living with her than the idea of living in this other place. We've spent a lot of time talking thru this, and we've got a really great plan set up. Why should i give all that up to live in a cramped apartment, and work a crappy job just because it's close to my favorite place? Not gonna be worth it.
Today i heard a line in a song, and i've taken it completely out of context but here's my thoughts on it. "If you don't know where you're going, you might end up somewhere else." Now on the surface you might say it's at least slightly ridicules, and you might be right. But my interpretation is is this: If i'm not focused on the future that's best for me, i'll get sidetracked by all these other "really cool" possibilities. This summer i'm letting go, i'm really living, i'm learning who i am, and i'm getting all these great ideas. There's so much i want to try, and experience. i can't do everything all at once, so i have to pick certain ones. And i need to choose the ones that are best for me right now. And right now i need to stay here with my friends. This is where i belong... At least for now.
So while day dreaming about this other life is fun, it's not the life i want the most. So i'm not going to pursue it. i'm going to stay focused on the life i'm planning here with my friends. It's a good life, better in the long run that some fantasy vacation life.
Anyway, i got some perspective today, and it was very helpful. i'm so excited for this new life we've got planned!

Just An Idea...

i've spent my lunch break for the last three days researching jobs, apartments, entertainment, outdoor activities and churches in a city that not only isn't close, it isn't even in the state i live in. i've been thru this city a few times, but we were always on our way to somewhere else. So, i don't remember it much. Honestly i'm not even sure why i started looking into this, i have the next few years pretty well mapped out, and it's a nice life. i'm excited for the stuff i have planned.
But for some reason i got this idea... What would happen if i moved to a new city for 6 months? Say i got a job, found an apartment, started a life there for no 'real' reason (other than it's super close to my favorite place in the world)? What would happen? Would i love it, or would i miss my life here too much?
i've already found a great apartment, and i've looked into a couple of local jobs. i'll be in a nearby town for a few weeks later this year, i guess if i can find employment while i'm there i may stay... i'm just not sure... This city is only an hour or so drive from my favorite place in the world, but is that enough reason to leave everything?
It's such a crazy idea, it really has no purpose. But i kinda want to try this. i'll never be albe to do something completely crazy like this again. Once i start a career or college i won't be able to get away for months at a time. 
All of this actually working out the way i've been thinking, is prolly not gonna happen. It's nice to dream tho. 
But i still wonder... What if?

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