Lawyers....

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers
Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of
witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the
responses given by insightful witnesses:

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?"
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: I have been since early childhood.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,
didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere.

Spinning

I'm spinning, I'm falling, I'm losing control.
it's all falling apart... or is it falling in place?
i just don't know.
i don't know what to do, i don't know where to turn,
all i know is I'm trusting You to catch me when i fall.
I'm putting it in your hands now, I'm letting go...
Protect me, lead me, show me what to do.
i don't know.
I'm spinning, I'm falling, I'm losing control.
Dear Father, please save me.
I'm losing control.

Out Of Control

My life is spinning out of control. I'm working two jobs, so 5-6 days a week, plus taking care of stuff at home, church stuff, and trying (read: failing) at keeping up with my friends. i've put 589 miles on my pickup in the past 8 days. That's why i've been MIA the past few weeks, and why I'm not gonna be around for the next few. There's a missions conference coming up at my church, so hopefully I'll have more time after that.... but I'm also planning a short trip to Kansas the next week... So i don't know. i just wanted to let y'all know i haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I'm just hovering at the edge ;) Hopefully I'll be back in a few weeks. See y'all later!

Teddy

Have we discussed small, white fluffy dogs? We need too. i've liked these kind of dogs for a long time, i was obsessed with westies for a while. Well, my mom has been fostering dogs for the last few months. They're all cute and its nice to have a  fun dog for a few days. But today she brought home a small, white, fluffy Maltese. Not good. His name is Teddy... and I'm in love. i absolutely adore him.... and i have talked my dad into letting me keep him! I'm so excited, he's so cute and fun and energetic, but he likes to cuddle too, and he doesn't bark much. i love him already, and that so not normal for me. I'm not an 'animal person'. Anyways, here's some pics of him.