Week One

"What week is it?" "Week One!" We all shout, jump up & start clapping. Actually, it's the last week of the summer, for some of us it's week nine, others week 7 or 8. All of us have been here before, we know the routine, it's not new for any of us. It's not week one. But for the kids that are coming tomorrow, it's their first week. Their first time at camp. Their first night in a cabin, first horseback ride, first nature walk, first praise & worship experience, first camp meal. It's their week one.

That's why even though it's the last week of the summer, we're all saying it's week one. We may know the routine by heart, we may have been serving kids all summer, but it's our first time to serve these kids. Our energy & enthusiasm should be the same as the first week of the summer. Cause for these kids, it is week one.

So what week is it?

Week one!

Accepted!

i got in!!!!!!!!!!!! i was accepted to the internship at Camp David!!!! i'm so excited! i'm moving to Rolla in about two weeks, so i've got a lot to do before then, like quit my job, pack up my stuff & put in storage whatever i'm not taking, and say goodbye to everyone. it's gonna be crazy but i know this internship will be worth it. More info later!

Learning

I'm learning a lot this summer. I'm learning about so many different things, life in general, people, relationships, a lot about God, horses, camp life, and especially about me. There are a lot of people that are teaching me, or helping me, or just holding my hand when it hurts. Cause for some reason, it really hurts when you grow. i want to grow, i want to change. That's been my goal for this summer, i just didn't expect it to hurt this much. I've cried in front of people, told people my secrets, reached out to love people, and amazingly, have let them love me back. I'm still growing and changing, i know I'm nowhere near where i need to be, and i know it'll hurt like hell getting there, but it'll be so worth it. i pray God will give me strength for this, cause i know it'll be hard. But I'm ready. I'm ready to hurt, I'm ready to heal, I'm ready to find out all i can be. i want my life to be a reflection of His glory, and it can't be if i keep walls up and don't let people ever really see me.

So here i am, scared out of my mind, hurting, wanting more than anything to just be loved.

Here i am, Father, change me.

Not Guilty

I heard this song a couple of months ago and i've been thinking about it a lot. i really love the message in this song. This is exactly how i feel so much of the time.

"Not Guilty"

I stand accused
There's a list a mile long
Of all my sins
Of everything that I've done wrong
I'm so ashamed
There's nowhere left for me to hide
This is the day
I must answer for my life

My fate is in the Judge's hands
But then He turns to me and says
I know you
I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

How can it be? I can't begin to comprehend
What kind of grace
Would take the place of all my sin?

I stand in awe
Now that I have been set free
And the tears well up as I look at that cross

'Cause it should have been me
My fate was in the nail scarred hands
He stretched them out for me and said

I know you
I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

I'm falling on my knees to thank You
With everything I am I'll praise You
So grateful for the words I heard You say
I know you
I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

Internship

Ok guys, sorry I've been gone for so long. Camp is going great, and i absolutely love it! Anyways, Camp David is starting an internship this year, it'll go from mid-august to the end of July next year. Linda (my boss at camp) is the leader of the program, and she's going to recommend me to be a part of it! I'm super excited about this and i really want it! So please be praying that I'll get in! Thanks! I'll tell you if i get in & more about camp soon!

Change

Change
Unknown

Change is the only absolute
in the world,
the only thing
that you can depend on.
Nothing stays the same.
Tomorrow will come,
bringing with it
new beginnings and sometimes
unexpected endings.
You can hold on to the past
and get left in the dust,
Or, you can choose to
jump on the ride of life
and live a new adventure
with perseverance and
an open mind.

Summer Burns

Well it’s official; I’ve gotten my summer 2nd degree burn! It happens once every summer, I get a 2nd degree burn on my shoulders and upper back. I’ve been accused of exaggerating, but I’m not. I’ve done the research & been to doctors, it’s definitely a 2nd degree burn. I’d post pics to prove it…. But I’m pretty sure I’d lose all of the readers I have left if I did that lol. Anyway, it’s a pretty regular event for me every summer; I’ll get at least one really bad sunburn and then tan the rest of the summer. Whatever. At least I didn’t get burned at camp, which would have been terrible. I have to wear t-shirts that would have rubbed the burn, plus I couldn’t just lie around rubbing cooling gel on it all afternoon like I did this week lol.

The Rainmaker

A friend recently told me about an author he really liked, John Grisham. i've heard about him, of course. He's had a lot books on the New York Times Bestseller list. His books are refered to as legal thrillers, and in the case of The Rainmaker, the first Grisham book i've read, that is certainly true. i don't know or understand much about the different kinds of law, or poltics, but i didn't have any trouble understanding or enjoying this book. i learned so much, but i didn't even realize i was learning till after i finished the story. It's a great plot line, the only thing i didn't like was the ending. It was so unexpected, and in my opinion, didn't really fit, but that's ok. It was still a very facinating story and i really enjoyed it! You should totally read it!

Silent Praise

There's a lot of music at Camp David. The staff go around randomly singing praise songs, pop songs, musicals, pretty much anything. That's what usually happens when you get a lot of teens together, so this is no surprise. What is really surprising and also really cool is something that happens during the worship service that happens before each meal & during chapel. A lot of these kids have learned some of the sign language to the praise songs. It's so incradible to watch, cause they will be singing with all thier heart, eyes closed and swaying in time with the music, and thier hands will be flying, signing the words they're singing. It's a whole new level of praise i didn't even know about. It's incredible to witness, and the little that i learned in three weeks amazes me still. It's so fantastic that i can not only sing with my voice, but also with my hands. It's a silent praise that i long to learn more of. i know it'll be a lolt of hard work but i know it'll be beyond worth it in the end.
                                                        

Taste

The question of taste has come up several times in my presence... Mostly cause i like to mix things that wouldn't normally be together. Like cameo & plaid. Or pink & red. Or suede and silk. Anyway i heard something today that a favorite designer (love ya Kayne!) said: "We both have taste, hon, but yours is vanilla and mine is rocky road." i love this! Just because i like things that are different than what you, or even a lot of people like, doesn't mean I'm wrong. It just means i like things that are a little different. I'm not rocky road, I'm not really sure what flavor i am yet but I'll figure it out eventually.

EZ Guy

So i just found out that a friend of mine has a MySpace Music page... And that he's an amazing singer! So ya'll have to check it out! i'm particularly partial to Super Human cause we sang it at a party at Camp David during staff training week. Anyway, he's really good so ya'll should go listen to his music! http://www.myspace.com/565756135

My Truck Isn't Perfect?

Today i made a discovery. My truck is a piece of junk. i honestly didn't realize this till today. Ok, here's how it went down: i asked my lil bro to help me add oil and coolant to my truck. No big deal right? Well there's a little trick to getting the hood open, that was my first clue. i, of course knew how to open it, but my brother didn't. Then after we finished i went to throw away the bottles and Joe went to start the truck. When i got back he said:
"There's something really wrong with your truck."
Me *looking confused* "What's wrong? It was working fine a little while ago."
Joe: "It won't start."
Me: "How did you try to start it?"
Joe: "I turned the key...." *gives me a weird look*
Me: "Oh was that all? Yea that won't start it. You have to..." And then i go into this whole speech about how to start my truck. At the end of it Joe looks at me and says: "You're truck is a piece of junk. It shouldn't be that complicated just to start it."
i think he may be right..... And i didn't even get a chance to tell him about the seat-belts, or the gas pedal, or the speedometer...