Anime

i watched my first anime last night!! A friend showed me a few episodes of Ouran High School Host Club. i really like it, the storyline is easy to follow and i can skip around between episodes and not gt lost. Plus there's only like 26 episodes, which is way easier to start with than an anime with, like 150 or 200 episodes lol. It's a cute show, and i really like it.

Lost Hope

Last summer at camp i was challenge to really see, and care more about people. To care enough to show them God. Since then God has given me three people to care about, to pray for, and to show His love to. i met the first one at camp, the second a few months later, and the third person in my more recent history. Most of the time, i pray for them, i talk to them, i do my best and hope it's enough.
But today... i lost hope i guess. i know, i believe that God can do anything, He and only He can save them. But I'm so scared he won't. So many people die, so many people will never see God. i love each of these people in a different way, and i can't even begin to imagine what eternity without them will be like.
i cried today. For these three people, i cried like i haven't in a very long time. i want so desperately to show them God's love, but they don't want it. I've never wanted anything more than i want their salvation. i plead with God to work in their lives, but i don't see anything changing...
I'm so scared. i don't want to go another day not knowing what will happen. I'm so scared.


Lord I lift my friends to You,
I've done all that i know to do
I lift my friends up to You

Dying World

There are facts in this world that still remain true

We're born, we live, we die, we are through

From the dust we were made to have a free will

To the dust we return when buried on a hill

All funerals are sad, there is no doubt

The body in wait and death does tout

Ministers speaks with means to console

The one who died, the heavenly soul?

The rally to God they all proclaim

Mistake and misleading it's the same

The one who lived "lived a good life"

To be with God with out the strife

No accountability and no remorse

For the life they led, death on course

Satan is there in death as in hell

Consoling the lost all is well

Just live a good life and be with God

The ultimate lie, with deceit and fraud

Many mislead by Satan's lie

Be with God by getting by

Free will was mentioned, don't you see

We all make choices on being free

Freedom in death comes from God

Not the lie of the deceiving fraud

The path is clear, not many will find

The way to heaven, God defined

The path is straight only through Him

The One who died took our sin

We all have a choice, free to accept

The One who died and took our steps

Atoning blood was shed for all

Freedom of choice, upon whom do you call

Death will continue the fact is true

Where will you go when life is through?

Armadillos



Armadillos. That's today's topic. My friends and i have often wondered why we see armadillos dead on the road all the time, especially during the summer, but none of us have ever seen a live one. i recently asked this on facebook, and i got some very interesting answers! As well as some cool, random facts. That combined with my ability to google, is what prompte this particular post lol.

1: Armadillo is Spanish for little armored one. No duh.

2: Armadillo shells used ot be used to make the back of the charango an Andean lute instrument. Whatever that is. (alright, i looked it up, it looks like a misshapen mandolin)

3: Armadillos, (along with mangabey monkeys rabbits and mice) can carry and transfer leprosy to humans. But, we gave it to them first, apparently.

4: From what I've been told, and have read, armadillos are very slow, and very stupid. Hence the start of this conversation: why they're always dead.

5: In Oklahoma they get stuck in fences. That's just funny! i want a picture of that!

Organized Religion

This is my view of organized religion. These don’t reflect my church’s views, my employer's view, my family, my friends, or even how I will view this subject in a few days, weeks or months. This is simply what I think or what I am learning right now.
i’ve had vague ideas that organized religion really isn't as great as people say, but i didn't ever do the research to find what i actually agree/disagree with. i want to have a balanced view, one that shows what is both good and bad, without attacking religion, or all people who are a part of "organized religion". So here it goes:
i once heard my pastor say that he hates coming to church on Sunday, because he's supporting a multi-billion dollar industry. That's what religion has become, an industry. i don’t think something that is presented as being as important as God and your relationship with him should ever be mistaken for an industry.
From what i’ve seen organized religion gives people more of an opportunity to teach/push their beliefs on other people. Having an opinion is good, teaching your opinion, as fact isn't. i've heard a lot of people teach their personal ideas as truth, that’s manipulating people, arguably a morally wrong behavior.
Another aspect of organized religion that i don’t agree with is all of the crazy, stupid things people do in the name of their God. Suicide bombers are just one example, but i think they’re a pretty good one. These people truly believe they are doing what their God has told them to do. Another dangerous part of religion is hate crimes. The KKK is an excellent example of this, these are people claiming to be Christians that believe that their God hates certain races of humans. How does that fit into “God so loved the world”?
What about the people that crucify themselves (not to death) to earn salvation? How about the physically dangerous pilgrimages people go on? They are intentionally setting themselves up to be hurt, in the name of their god.
People will gladly do stupid or dangerous things simply because they believe that it can somehow help them get closer to their god, or because it’s what their god tells them to do.
i do have to say tho, there are 3 things i like about organized religion: (1) it brings together like-minded people. i wouldn't have meet some of the people i admire, or consider my best friends if it weren't for my church. Our paths would have never crossed. (B) It has a consistent time. The meetings are always the same day of the week, at the same time. That's good for people like me, who have such a crazy schedule that trying to fit something in at different times each week would be next to impossible. and (Choo-choo train)* Almost all of the really compassionate, caring people i've met are a part of some kind of organized religion.
That's my opinion on organized religion. What's yours?


*It'll catch on, trust me (Skit Guys: Adam & Eve skit at Sent/Falls Creek Camp reference)

This is a really funny article i found, and i have to say it sounds like a pretty great idea to me http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/154203/the_religion_i_created_over_the_weekend.html?cat=34

L.A. Candy

i just finished reading L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad. It's a teen-girl trash novel. Very predictable, stereotypical characters, and an overused storyline. Basically, it's the 2 girls that come to L.A. and get put on a reality tv show. The characters are predictable, there's the hot, bad ass girl, the girl next door, the flake, and the super-rich bitch. There's the usual boy problems: player boyfriend in one corner and clueless best friend in the other. Even the small characters, like the tv producer, or magazine editor are pretty easy to figure out. Not a lot of substance. The only interesting part of the book was the character D, predictably gay, but really funny.

In my opinion, it was fairly boring. i don't recommend this book.

Cousin

Hi Coz,
i just want to let you know how much getting to know you this past week has meant to me. i truly enjoyed spending time with you, our conversation was different from most i usually have. i loved talking with you, i like hearing an others ideas, opinions, beliefs. Plus you're way funny! You showed me things about my town i didn't know. You introduced me to new experiences, ideas, thoughts. I've got so much to think about now, I'm reevaluating my opinion on several things.
i can't wait to read the books and watch the movies you suggested, I'm always excited to find different things to read :)
Thanks for hanging out with me all week, i had a blast! You're such a gentleman, that's something i really appreciate. i don't see that very often. First time trying sushi was pretty awesome, and I'll work on mastering chopsticks lol.
I'm sorry it was something so sad that had to reintroduce us, but I'm glad you're part of my life now. You're a pretty awesome cousin, Rusty. i can't wait to see you again!

Rachel =)

J46 Advice

"What is the best advice you ever received?"

i've gotten a lot of advice over the years (most unsolicited) but i think the best piece is something someone taught me in relation to dating, but i think it can apply to most relationships. "Find someone who is happy, and you'll be happy together." What this means is you need to find someone who is already happy, who can be happy without being in a relationship, and if you're also happy without being in a relationship, then the two of you will be happy together. How i think this applies to other relationships is that if the person (friend, relative,coworker, whatever) isn't happy, you can't make them happy. It isn't your job. But beside that, if they're not happy it puts pressure on you to either (1)make them happy, or (2)to take the blame for whatever goes wrong in the relationship. Neither of these is healthy. i don't really know what to do if you're in this situation, all i can say is 50% of the problems in the relationship or the unhappy person's fault*, and you just have to accept that it isn't your responsibility to "fix" whatever goes wrong, and believe that it isn't all your fault.
*(based on a two person relationship)

J45 Good Neighbour

"What is a good neighbour?"

My idea of a good neighbour is living next to a cemetary. They're quiet, they mind their own buisness, they don't have loud parties (very often), block the street with thier cars, steal my paper, and i don't feel obligated to buy Girl Scout cookies from thier daughter. Sounds pretty great to me!

Growing Up

i've recently realized that i've grown up. i was thinking about a conversation i had last summer, about how we didn't want to grow up, we decided that we should run away to Never-land, or possible Wonderland, and never grow up. It's too late now, i've left the nursery, and i can't go back. It's kinda sad, i've lost the last bit of my childhood. i am now truly an adult. i've changed so much in just the last year, it's incredible. I'm not who i was. I'm almost a completely different person. My views on religion, relationships, life, it's all changed. Even my food preferences have changed. That's how i know I'm growing up. Thing is, I'm glad i've changed. i like the new me better. I'm more confident, I'm a lot happier, I'm more stable, i know what i want and I'm working to get it. I'm not done growing yet, i never will be, but I'm definitely growing up... i've left Wonderland.


"We grow fat on fantasy
I guess that's why I'm leaving
I crave reality
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
I did not find paradise
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
What's been missing in my life

Growing up is not an absence of dreaming
It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold
And the ones that you've been sold
And Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life
But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie
Forgetting what you are
Seeing for what you've been told

Ohh truth is stranger than fiction
This is my chance to get it right
And life is much better without all of those pretty lies

Ohh So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
And you can keep your yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
These are not tears in my eyes
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
I found what's missing in my life"

Death

Death doesn't bother me. It's weird, i accept death as part of life, and i don't get upset by it. It just happens. i don't get upset, i just go one with my normal life. My great-uncle died a few days ago, i've been helping to take care of him and my great-aunt for the last few months. When they told me he was gone, my first reaction wasn't one of sadness. i felt relived. He's been suffering, and his quality of life wasn't very good, he's so much better now. Why should i be sad? Where does it say i have right to feel cheated? He is in Heaven with God, there's no more suffering, no pain, he's more happy than i can even comprehend. It would be beyond selfish to even begin to wish him back. Why should i be sad? i am sad, and i will miss him, but i'm not acting sad. i'm not devestated. And i feel guilty about it, because all around me people are sad, people are crying, people keep asking me if i'm holding up all right. All i can think is that i'm doing better than most of them. Why is that? Do i just have a more realistic view of death? Or am i simply a heartless human being?

Truth

"I do not lie. However, i occasionally restructure the truth to my benefit."