Tears

She was looking at me, tears filling her eyes, “I love you” She said. I bowed my head, covered my face with my hands and began to sob. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been told I was loved. Tears fell, my whole body shook. Ii had never dared to imagine that she would love me, even tho I wanted her love so much it hurt to think she didn’t. I had worked so hard to do everything I could to earn her approval, at least, and here she was offering love. Not love in exchange for something, but love for just me.

Emotion overwhelmed me: pain, longing, joy, and love consume me. I’m aware of her leading me out of the building, across the driveway and into the house I was living in. We go into my room, she closes the door while I lower myself to the floor, still sobbing. She sits across from me and just lets me cry. After a few minutes I calm down enough to speak. “I don’t remember the last time someone said they love me.” Pain flashes in her eyes. It’s quiet for a few moments, and then she begins to speak.

We talk for over an hour, and her message is simple: I am worth loving. This alone is nearly impossible for me to believe, but then she adds something altogether unimaginable. She tells me that God has made me incredible, and if I would realize my potential, and truly shine, this world wouldn’t be ready for me.

When we left that room I didn’t look any different. But she had given me a hope, that someday someone else would love me enough to see what she saw, and be willing to give the time and energy to help me heal enough so I can see it too. I never imagined that for the next year that person would be her. If a year with her is all I get, I’ll make it count. Cause I want to see me the way she does, and I want to shine for her.

It’s remarkable what simple, heartfelt tears can start.