Linda

Hey Linda,
I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re pretty much amazing! You’re so funny, I like just listening to your stories, it makes working with you so enjoyable. I actually really like that I’m the only intern willing to get “dirty” cause it means I get to work with you more.
I really appreciate your willingness to spend time with me, I know it might sound silly or too simple but I like just hanging out and watching tv. I know you’re tired a lot of the time, and probably have better things to do, but it means a lot to me that you’ll spend that time with me doing something I enjoy.
Again it might sound silly, but I love it when you hug me. Being hugged (by someone I like) is pretty much the best feeling in the world. I also really like it when you call me Baby, I know that’s pretty ridicules, but no one has ever called me that before and I actually like it :p
I love our lunches together (with Rusty too!), it’s so nice to just be able to talk about anything, or nothing! I like that you push me to question things, and find out why I do things certain ways. You push me to be better, but encourage me and tell me I’m doing great right now. That’s pretty awesome! I really needed that, I know I need to do better, but it’s hard when I believe that everything I’m doing now isn’t good enough.
You’re always available for me, no matter how tired you are, or that you have a hundred other things you need to do. You’re still there for me when I need you. And in case you haven’t noticed… I kinda need you a lot, so this is no small thing!
At the beginning of the summer I didn’t think we’d be friends. I had no intentions of opening up to you, and you didn’t have any reason to open up to me so I assumed we’d end the summer with a mutual respect but no real relationship. I remember telling Kayla as much on one of our drives home, and her saying “Just wait, camp will get to you. You’ll figure out how awesome Linda is eventually.” Well I did. And it didn’t take very long!
I’m so thankful that God brought me here and gave me this year with you! I know it’s gonna be great! I
think you’re incredible, and beautiful, and pretty much amazing just how you are.
I love you, Linda!


Rae

Reach

Hi!
First off I want to say I miss ya’ll so much! i’ve met some pretty cool people here, but there’s not a group anything like you all. I’m involved in the local CCF (Christian Campus Fellowship) and the BSU (Baptist Student Union). There are some pretty crazy people here, but they’ve got nothing on you! They’re a Brian Regan quoting bunch, but we haven’t tried to stuff 9 people in a 7-seater van or play croquet in the dark yet. Mafia isn’t a big deal here, which is pretty sad. I definetly miss our games! When they do play it’s all Very Serious. Not nearly as much fun as our games!
I’m doing pretty good here, definitely learning a lot! I’m learning the ins and outs of how a camp runs, as well as a lot of office management type stuff. They’ve got the interns learning how to use things like Photoshop and Premier Pro Movie maker. I’ve been making a lot of phone calls too, neither of the other girls likes talking on the phone so I take care of most of that. It’s pretty much scheduling things like speaking at youth groups and setting up interviews with the campers.
Linda has decided that presenting our ministry is “my thing” so I’ve been speaking at a lot of local youth groups, and hopefully will be able to speak at a few college groups soon. I really like it, you know me, I love to talk! ;)
Linda teaches riding lessons two days a week and I usually help her. It’s pretty basic stuff, mostly. But we’ve been trying to introduce the kids to stuff like barrel-racing and pole-bending lately, that’s a lot of fun!
We’re getting ready to start a camper mentoring program soon. Basically we’ve matched staff members with campers to mentor. I’m excited about this program, I think it’s a great way to keep in contact with the kids throughout the year, as well as a way to make a more permanent impact in their lives. I’m nervous about mentoring kids, but I know it’s what God wants of me right now and I know I can do it with His help.
It’s not all about the ministry here though, a lot of the program is focused on personal growth. We have a lot of discussion groups together. We’ll discuss things like the image of God, Fire, what it means to be Radical, all kinds of different subjects. I’m also expected to read at least three Christian Growth books (Max Lacado, John Piper, Charles Spurgon type books) or biographies each month and write a paper about each.
I’m also being mentored by Linda, which is great cause I work with her everyday, spend most evenings hanging out at either the interns house or hers, and hanging out at the horse barn between lessons. I’m the only intern willing or able to do most of the “manual labor” at camp (think: moving things, mowing, taking care of the animals, cleaning out older buildings) so we end up spending a lot of time together. It’s pretty much amazing, cause she’s the “older sister” figure I’ve needed for a long time. Spending time with Linda is definitely my favorite part of being an intern!
Ya’ll know some of what my home life is like, so it probably comes as no surprise that I love being here, in a Christian community, surrounded by people that love me, or at least like me! I’m having a great time, and I’m growing in my faith. It’s not perfect here by any means, it’s really difficult sometimes. A main point of the program is to be “stretched and grown” and that’s definitely happening! It can hurt sometime, but I know it’s all for good. It’s hard to be away from you all and my family at South Side but I know this is where God wants me right now. So that’s what’s been happening in my life lately. I can’t wait to see ya’ll soon!
Rae

I Am, I Can, I Will

I am, I can, I will
Unknown
 

I am- two small words, and yet,
It’s a powerful “place” to be.
It’s my life, and I’m living it,
I am everything you see.

 

I am responsible for my actions,
And all the things I say and do.
I am responsible for my behavior,
And how i interact with you.
 

I am responsible for the level of my work,
And the choices that I make.
I am responsible for the values I proffes,
And for the way that I communicate. 

I can- two small words, and yet,
It’s a powerful “place” in which to be.
It’s my life and I’m living it,
Traveling the land, sky and sea.
 

I can earn the respect of others,
And gain their friendship true.
I can honor all things living, and
Take care of my mind, health and body too.
 

I can do my best each day,
And I know my best is great,
I can continue to progress,
And move closer to my fate.
 

I will- two small words, and yet,
It’s a powerful “place” in which to be.
It’s my life and I’m living it,
I will be everything, just wait and see.
 

I will use my talents wisely,
Learn to manage the moods of life.
I will respect my ups and downs,
Ask for help in overcoming strife.
 

I will is a promise to see clearly,
It reveals my strength to win.
As I arrive at mutual resolutions

And look for my answers from within.
 

I’m young, still learning, growing, changing,
Yet I have ideals, noble goals and plans,
For things like a healthy environment,
World peace and a crime-free land.

No longer a child, yet not an adult,
I am a teenager still,
But I don’t underestimate my value,
Because I am, I can, I will.

Someone Worth Dying For

Someone Worth Dying For

You might be the wife, waiting up at night
You might be the man, struggling to provide
feeling like it's hopeless
Maybe you’re the son who chose a broken road
Maybe you’re the girl thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh, God are you listening?

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I want to believe, I want to believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah, I want to believe, Jesus help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for
I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking, Oh, what everybody's asking

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I want to believe, I want to believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah, I want to believe, Jesus help me believe

That I am someone worth dying for
Your worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah, the cross has proven,
That you're sacred and blameless.
Your life has purpose!

You are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see your something beautiful
Yeah, you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see that
You're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known

You gotta believe, you gotta believe
That you are someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for
Someone worth dying for


The words in this song mean so much to me. i remember the first time i heard it... it's like it was written for me. Most of the time i feel like God is distant, not really caring or involved in my everyday life. i feel like I'm not seen and not known. It's hard for me to believe that I'm worth dying for. i don't believe that I'm worth protecting, and in my mind dying for someone is the ultimate protection. To think that God thinks I'm worth dying for is really hard for me to grasp. i want to believe it, but its so hard.

Intro to the CDO Interns

The CDO Interns for this first year are Julia, Rae and Laura. We're looking forward to a great year of learning, growing, and having a lot of fun! It's an all girl year and it's gonna be great!


Julia is studying to become a certified event coordinator and is involved with planning weekend retreats, fundraisers, and alumni staff events, overseeing the camp kitchen, planning retreat menus, and staffing the kitchen for retreats. She is also excited to be part of jump-starting the mentoring program. She does all cooking, meal planning, and most of the cleaning for the interns.

Rae was a wrangler during summer camp, and will be an exciting addition to the horseback riding lessons. She is a huge part of the brainstorming sessions, and is everyone's "right hand"! She is the easy going, laid back personality in the intern community!

Laura is a great help in the office this year, she is already showing her skills as a graphic designer. Laura is the entertainer among the interns, she keeps them on their toes 24/7.

Hope Rising

Hope Rising /Kim Meeder


Hope Rising is a collection of stories from Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch in central Oregon. CPYR rescues abused or neglected horses, and ministers to hurting kids and youth by pairing them with a horse and a leader.


i really liked this book cause there are so many stories about God working through the horses to help the kids. A lot of the kids don't know or believe in God, but he shows them his love through the horses. He allows the horses to connect with the kids in ways the adults in their lives sometimes can't.


There's a story about a girl who is hurting and won't speak to anyone, except her horse. She'll sit and talk to the horse in the rain, and share everything with her. These kids learn to trust and love, and they begin to open up to people again.

It's really cool how God can teach the kids about himself without a church, a pastor, Christian parents, or even the bible. God shows himself in the world around them, and lets them choose to discover more on their own.

What was really interesting to me was this idea of God being all around me, and showing himself in the everyday things that happen, or in the people i see, or the animals i play with.

i tend to keep God in a "church" box, and i need to see him in the world around me, in everyday interactions.

Paint Brush

Paint Brush                                         

Unknown 

I keep my paint brush with me                                   

Wherever I go,

In case I need to cover up

So the real me doesn’t show.

I’m so afraid to show you me,

Afraid of what you’ll do- that

You might laugh or say mean things.

I’m afraid I might lose you.

I’d like to remove all my paint coats

To show you the real, true me,

But I want you to try and understand,

I need you to accept what you see.

So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,

I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.

Please understand how much it hurts

To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off

I feel naked, bare, and cold

And if you still love me with all that you see,

You are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my paint brush, though,

And hold it in my hand,

I want to keep it handy,

In case somebody doesn’t understand.

So please protect me, my dear friend

And thanks for loving me true,

But please let me keep my paint brush with me

Until I love me too.

Reflections

This is a letter introducing my time at CDO, and talking about some of the things that i learned at camp this summer. Enjoy!

Hi!

This summer I had the opportunity to work at Camp David of the Ozarks in Rolla, MO. This camp is for the children of prisoners, at-risk youth. Most of these kids wouldn’t ever get the chance to experience summer camp if not for this ministry, and most aren’t shown the Love of God in their everyday life. At this camp I had the opportunity to interact with these kids and talk to them about Christ. For 6 weeks this summer (5 weeks of camp and a week of training) I worked with the camp horses as a wrangler. It was an incredible experience! I learned so many things, about horses, relationships, life in general, and especially about God.


When I look back over the summer three things really stand out to me. The first is a camper we had the first Jr. girls week. She was so sweet, and shy. She was scared of the horses at first, but at the end of the first ride she said she loved horseback riding! I watched her that week, I watched as she became more comfortable and opened up to people more. She accepted Christ that week and I got to see her baptized before the end of camp. It was so incredible to watch her, she was so excited to have God as her “Daddy”. That one little girl made the whole summer worth it, and there were so many more kids like that.


The second thing that really stands out to me is just how God showed Himself to me every day in a thousand ways. Through His word, through the worship, through group prayer, through other people. Being out in His creation for hours every day showed me how remarkable it really is. Sunrises, sunsets, stars, light, dark, color, leaves, flowers, trees, water. It’s all so incredible, and I miss it so often. It’s so humbling to realized how complex this universe truly is, and to think that God still cares about and listens to me.


The third thing is something God began to teach me this summer. I’ve always thought of myself as strong, and God really worked on me this summer, to get me to a place where I realized that I’m not strong enough on my own. ”Ephesians 6:10 Lastly be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his power.” Be strong in the Lord, not in yourself. That was something camp taught me, I can’t do it all on my own, but through Christ I can do anything.


That’s just some of what happened this summer at camp. It was an incredible experience and I’m super excited to continue working at CDO throughout the next year as an intern. I know God will work in my life in amazing ways this next year, and I’m very excited to be a part of His work in this ministry.


Rae Marie

Tears

She was looking at me, tears filling her eyes, “I love you” She said. I bowed my head, covered my face with my hands and began to sob. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been told I was loved. Tears fell, my whole body shook. Ii had never dared to imagine that she would love me, even tho I wanted her love so much it hurt to think she didn’t. I had worked so hard to do everything I could to earn her approval, at least, and here she was offering love. Not love in exchange for something, but love for just me.

Emotion overwhelmed me: pain, longing, joy, and love consume me. I’m aware of her leading me out of the building, across the driveway and into the house I was living in. We go into my room, she closes the door while I lower myself to the floor, still sobbing. She sits across from me and just lets me cry. After a few minutes I calm down enough to speak. “I don’t remember the last time someone said they love me.” Pain flashes in her eyes. It’s quiet for a few moments, and then she begins to speak.

We talk for over an hour, and her message is simple: I am worth loving. This alone is nearly impossible for me to believe, but then she adds something altogether unimaginable. She tells me that God has made me incredible, and if I would realize my potential, and truly shine, this world wouldn’t be ready for me.

When we left that room I didn’t look any different. But she had given me a hope, that someday someone else would love me enough to see what she saw, and be willing to give the time and energy to help me heal enough so I can see it too. I never imagined that for the next year that person would be her. If a year with her is all I get, I’ll make it count. Cause I want to see me the way she does, and I want to shine for her.

It’s remarkable what simple, heartfelt tears can start.

Dependant

I was listening to a Dutton song and looking thru Wrangler pictures from earlier in the summer. Sounds pretty simple but it actually reminded me of something that I’ve been learning this summer. It’s OK to depend on other people. This is really hard concept for me, I’ve always been strong enough on my own, I don’t need other people… The song talks about how God created us to have relationships, and how even Jesus had friends he depended on. And as I was looking at the pictures of the wrangler team, I remembered what it was like to have that group that I could count on, that was always there, pushing me on when I needed it, helping me up when I fell, and encouraging me the whole time.

In this community we’re building thru the internship I’ve found I have to depend on others more than ever before. I live with these people, I can’t just hide behind my smile for a few hours and then go away like I can everywhere else. They’re starting to know me, to really see me. Not just what I want them to see, but what I don’t want them to see. It’s forcing me to be honest with them, and them with me. And I’m starting to depend on them, even confide in a few of them. It’s not what I’m used to, it’s not how I interact with people, it’s entirely different. But that’s ok, cause I’m learning and growing, and that’s what I’m here for.

The Five Love Languages

I really enjoyed this book, I think the concept of different love languages is fascinating.

I’m not sure which is my primary love language, I can identify with all five of them. I like to show others love by giving them compliments, or encouraging them. I don’t often feel “loved” when given compliments they don’t mean much to me, I just kinda brush them off as not true. I also like to give people things, whether it’s something I made or something I bought, I put a lot of thought into it, and it’s important that it be something meaningful. A lot of the time the gift will have more significance to me than to the other person. I also lie showing love thru helping or serving someone. Even if it’s something really simple like clearing the table or washing the dishes, that’s a way for me to show someone that I care about them.

The way I feel loved is through spending time with someone. I like spending time with someone I care about, it could be talking on the phone for an hour, or spending an afternoon hanging out, or just living life together. I also feel loved when a guy hugs me. Having a guy wrap his arms around me makes me feel completely safe and loved. I have some theories about why this is only happens with guys, but that’s a whole other topic ;)


What I learned most from this book is how to recognize how others feel love, and understanding why they feel that way, and how to respond to each of them.


I think the best way to apply what I learned from this book is to put in to practice how to love others in a way they really understand.

Impressions

Some people come into our lives and quietly go.
Some people move our souls to dance;

They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gave upon;

They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts,
And we are never, ever the same.