21st Birthday

My 21st birthday was in December and it was kind of a big deal to me, but i wasn't ready to write about it until a couple of weeks ago. So here's the story:
I was born 5 weeks early. My mom had a very difficult pregnancy, and there were lot of complications and problems with me. I had to be born that early, or i would have died. I still almost did several times. I spend several weeks in ICU in one of those incubator things. I had RSV, which caused breathing problems, and i was on a breathing machine thing for i think about 6 months. The doctors weren't sure i would live to be an adult, they thought i would develop severe asthma, and just have all kinds of health issues from being born before i was fully developed. Which makes sense. I had to have a blood transfusion, which is why i can't donate blood.
I grew up knowing all of this. I always knew that i wasn't really supposed to be alive, if all was fair. So my 21st birthday was kinda a big deal to me. It was when i would truly be an adult, and it was really important to me that i prove the doctors wrong and live to be 21.
I was at my parent's for Christmas break, and I assumed I'd spend my birthday with my family.  But they were all busy. My parent's had to work and the kids all had other things planned with their friends. I tried to see if any of my friends wanted to hang out, but they were all either working or busy with their families.
So I got lunch at my favorite Chinese place, and I went to the river.  I sat on the bank, and talked to God for a long time. I didn't understand why He would let me spend a day that was so important to me, alone. Of course I wasn't alone, but it felt like I was. I felt like everyone around me was too busy to notice that something amazing had happened: I did it! I was alive, I proved them wrong, and I made it.
Maybe this isn't important to anyone else, and that's fine. But it's significant to me... So shouldn't it be significant to people that I matter to?
No one even said they loved me.

I know it's just another birthday, 
But I guess I thought this would be the one
When he would call me, see me,
Hold me, and free me
But it's just another birthday
And I'll be fine