Different

Last night a lot of people told me, basically the same thing, and it changed my view of my current life.  I was told that I'm different now, that I'm confident, I look happy, I stand straighter and I laugh more. I was told that I both act and look alive, more alive than I've looked in months. I was told I had my fire back. That fire that I know I've been missing, that I've been looking for, that I know sets me apart. Some of these people I haven't' seen for months, others it's just been a few weeks, but even those I've seen more recently agreed that I've changed so much, for the better, in just two months.
I don't know what to do with this. I feel more alive, I feel so much better. But is it worth the cost? I've argued with the leadership, I've begun to debate their orders, and in some cases blatantly not do what they said to. I believe the way the treat people, the way they not only condone but suggest deception, and the things they have said or done to their staff is wrong.
I can't sit by and watch it any more. But if I tell them what I really think of their policies, rules and how the deal with people, I will have to leave. Calvin said exactly what I will, and he left. So did Julia, and she left too. We all tried to talk to them aback in September, and nothing has changed. They didn't listen to us. They won't listen to me, I'm the rule-breaker. I'm the poster child for how they can help at-risk kids even when they're grown, just because I come from a similar background as the campers.
I like me this way. Not angry at the world, not a puppy that rolls over at whatever they say. Just me, in the middle trying to be both respectful and doing what I have to do to keep myself safe. 
Camp isn't safe any more.  It's become a battleground, and I'm afraid I'm on the losing side. I have to stand against what I believe is wrong, but that means I will have to leave. And I'm scared. I don't know where to go, or what to do. But I know I have to do this.

Father, please give me Your voice and Your words, 
show me Your will, and lead me to what You have 
planned for this situation. I'm scared, Daddy, I 
don't know what to do. I'm confused, and I'm 
not sure where to go. Help me, Father. I want 
to do Your will, I want to be what You want me 
to be in this. Give me the courage I will need,
the wisdom I desire, and peace through all of this.