She Walked Away

I was listening to this song today, and I suddenly realized that while I've always thought of it applying to a friend of mine, it actually applies to me, almost more than to her. While she left the church, moved in with her boyfriend, and had a kid, i did something worse. I emotionally walked away from God. I continued to go to churches, say i was a Christian, sing the songs, speak the language, and spend time with other Christians. But I didn't mean any of it. It was just what i did. I couldn't take the pain anymore, and i couldn't understand why God allowed it, but i thought i wasn't supposed to be angry at God, so i shut down. I walked away from God, without any outward signs of leaving. I wanted complete freedom, from rules, obligations, and society in general. For a long time i wasn't willing to give up everything to go find it, and then suddenly i was willing. I was ready, i was packed, i had a plan and a "one way ticket" to a new life. I couldn't explain it, but i knew i had to leave, i had to give up everything, and just run. But God, our amazing, loving Father, reached down to save me from myself. He brought me to a place where i could realize just how much i was hurt, and He showed me that only He could heal me, and that He wanted to heal me. It wasn't just that i could be healed, but that He wants to see me whole and healthy. I know people that were and are praying for me, praying that i will "come back to God" in every way.  Only God knows how this story will end, but i hope and pray that it will end happily.    

"She Walked Away"

She couldn't take one more day
Home was more her prison now
Independence called out
She had to get it

A fight was all she needed
To give her reason
She slammed the door with no goodbye
And knew that it was time

Now she's driving too fast
She didn't care to glance behind
And through her tears she laughed
It's time to kiss the past goodbye

I'm finally on my own
Don't try to tell me no
There's so much more for me
Just watch what I will be

She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in
She walked away

Not a day goes by
For the one she's left behind
They're always asking why
And thoughts of her consume their mind

God please let her know
The love we tried to show
We'd promise anything
If you'd just bring her home

She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in
She walked away

Tell her we love her
And tell her she's wanted
One more thing God
Tell her please come home
Please come home

She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in
She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in

The choice is yours alone now
Tell me how this story ends

[Spoken:]
While the son was still a long way off
His father saw him, and felt compassion for him
And ran and embraced him and kissed him
"Let us celebrate for this child of mine was dead
And he has come back to life,
He was lost and now he is found"
And they began to celebrate
[Luke 15:20 and 24]