Arguing With God

I've always been second place, replaceble, or worse, forgotten. I've had friends that i was close too, and they were the person i cared about most, but i've not been that person for someone else. It hurts to think that people don't care about me as much as i care about them, but i've just kinda brushed it off and tried not to think about it. I thought it was gonna be different with Linda, i really did. i thought maybe she would care about me as much as i care about her, and for a while i thought she did. She spent more time with me than the other interns, and talked to me more. She even suggested me moving in with her after my internship ends. i thought that meant she loved me more than she loved the others. I know it sounds stupid and selfish but that was what i wanted. Recently i've begun to think that that's not true, no matter what happens at the end of this, she's not going to feel the same. If things keep progressing the way they are now, i think she will actually care about me less than she does now. No of this is wrong, and i'm not mad or upset with her at all. I'm just hurting, trying to understand this; if Linda, who i though might be the only person to love me more than others can't, than who can? I was in the middle of the floor, sobbing, hurting like never before when i thought of the Father's Love Letter, it says things like "I'll never leave you", "I love you with an everlasting love", "If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me", "When you are broken-hearted, I am close to you", "I'll take away all the pain". I thought what if God is the only one who can love me the way i long to be loved? If i can't find that love in people, then i have to admit that only God can give me what i want. But what if i admit that i can't find it in people and look for it in God, and He doesn't love me like that? What if He doesn't accept me, or what if He is really the way i imagine Him to be and doesn't really care about us? Then where am i? I can't keep looking for love from people, but i'm afraid to look to God for it. So i'm stuck, hurting, in tears, wishing it would all end.