Directions

I had dinner with Josh and Charity tonight. It was really good! I got to talk to them about everything that has happened, and they had some good insight into all of that, as well as some very helpful advice. We also got to talk about South Side, the ministry there, and where they are wanting to take the singles class. It was weird, cause their vision, and my desires lined up perfectly. We want the same things for the Reach class, and they're more than willing to listen to my ideas. And they're excited to have me back! Charity said that she feels like God brought me back for a specific reason, to help South Side, and that if I let Him, He can accomplish a lot in the church through me. Which is exactly what Kim said Saturday night. I didn't think there was any way God could use this, I thought I had screwed it up too badly for that. But it's starting to look like that's not true, that God actually has a plan for all this, and maybe, just maybe, it can actually be used for good. It brought me home, and it seems like this is the best place for me right now. Not just for me to heal, and to learn, and to be encouraged, but the best place for me to serve. I know South Side, inside and out. I know the people, and the heart of the church. And now I'm confident enough to want to make changes, to speak my mind, to offer opinions, but I know I don't have it all figured out, and so I'm more than willing to take criticism as well.

I was kinda depressed earlier today, I was missing my friends in Rolla. And I still do miss them, desperately, but I'll get to see them soon, and we'll stay in touch. It will be different, and I know I'll still miss them a lot, but I know, God has shown me so many times in the past few days, that ministering at South Side is what I need to be doing right now. This church has been through so much in the past few years, there is so little left, that in some ways it's like building it from the ground up again. There are so many areas I'm passionate about, and I want to see improved. And, crazy as it may seem, the leadership wants me to be a part of it, maybe even a big part of it. Josh said that he wishes the church was in a place to just hire me as an intern and work for the church full-time, because I have the ideas, the passion, and the desire for that, but the church just isn't in a place where they can do that. Yet. Funnily enough, James said the same thing...